Out

I'm doing whatever I can lately to stay out of the house.

Tonight, even though I should probably be resting at home and just being normal, I'm actively seeking ways to leave.

I called my Dad, to see if he had plans. For those of you who know me well, you know that this is a pretty desperate sign. But, I don't care. I just want to do something, to go somewhere, to be with people. I feel like, if I'm with people, I can at least ignore that I'm this way for a little while.

That's probably why, when I should be sleeping, I'm chatting, or going to a friend's house at 10 at night. This is almost definitely why I read constantly; I'm not okay with my own thoughts, and the escape is total for me. This is likely related to my resentment of Jack, as the constant anchor that keeps me home.

Do I sound like I've been psychoanalyzed quite enough yet?

My next goal is Monday. That's when I go back to see Tina. I want to make it through the weekend, drop Jack off on Sunday, and have Monday and Tuesday to rest and recoup. Wednesday - Sunday it'll likely be just me and the little guy, so I'm already looking for things we can do to stay sane during that time.


....Anybody happen to be on their way to Texas? I could use the company.